guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
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And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
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Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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