I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
