Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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