drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
