do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
