Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
