Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
too bad you live with your parents still
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
