I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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