my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
