He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
