so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
