So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
