Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
