Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
