looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
