Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
