dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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