It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
