dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
