Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
