So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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