I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
