I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Randomize
