Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
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