Even the bartender felt bad for me
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
