Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
