I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I bet he comes in French.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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