The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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