last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
