Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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