She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
