My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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