sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
