there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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