So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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