so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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