Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
