I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
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frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
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Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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