Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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