Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
