Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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