you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
