Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
