The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
