I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize