My first STD was from a foam party
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
