I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
