my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
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I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
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I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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