They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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