she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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