we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
