We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Randomize
