I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Randomize
