so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
