Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
