I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I still have a little drunk in my system
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
