I hope mine doesn't look like that
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Randomize
