I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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