Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
