What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
where are you?
Hypothermia
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
These tits shall not be calmed
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
