i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
