i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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