ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
